Walk Through Fire
by AllytheVamp
Summary: Xander is for real...


Walk Through Fire

**WALK THROUGH FIRE  
BY ALLISON RIELLY**

**Disclaimer: Joss owns Buffy etc. I am just borrowing all his stuff.**

**Dedication: People who write those songs...the kind that make you stop and listen.**

**Authors Notes: Inspired by a maudlin song that made me all nostalgic. Enjoy!**

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I hated fire. The summer I had turned thirteen, my uncle Rory had lit a campfire with his scotch one night. The fire had risen with such force that I had been knocked off my feet. The heat had nearly blinded me, making my eyes water and my breath stop. I just stared at the blazing redness and swore that I had never seen anything more frightening. At the same time it fascinated me. 

That was before everything. Before high school, Buffy...Cordelia.

Right then, it was as if I was back at that campfire, feeling the heat burn my face. The wall of flames had gotten so vast I could barely see her anymore; just her eyes...

I always loved Cordelia's eyes. There were rare times when I'd look into them, seeing a fusion of emotions. The brown orbs usually blazed with self confidence and mirth (and sometimes indignance). I loved her for that zest for life. I needed that kind of energy. She made me smile without doing anything. Now, there was only a force of nature standing between me and those eyes. I felt a familiar lump in my throat and choked a bit before realizing it was fear. The same fear that always crippled me.

In a town like Sunnydale, fear was a reflex. You could never just turn it on and off like a faucet. You fell back on it when you heard something strange, saw a shape in the darkness or, heaven forbid, were surrounded before you knew you were being followed. I had seen enough creepy-crawlies to make any normal person almost immune. Everyday there was a new evil. It just never got any easier for me. Willow was stronger then me in a crisis. She was able to push her fear down enough so that she could fight back. My fear felt uncontrollable. I was paralyzed or knocked out before I knew what hit me. I tried! I always made my best effort, but even that wasn't enough.

Now here I was, the last one standing. For some reason I was still alive. Reasonably hurt, but alive and still walking. I breathed in the hot air trying to gain back enough strength to go on. The vamps had fled. They knew better then to stick around after a fire had gotten ridiculously out of control. The fang gang had only stayed long enough to flip over a candle and beat half of my friends senseless. That Doyle guy kept screaming for Cordelia. His leg was broken and I think he was about to pass out from his blood loss. Angel was unconscious as was Buffy and Oz. Willow was cradling Oz's head in her lap, looking almost hypnotized by the flames. I peered through the heat. I could just make Cordelia out. 

Her hair was still long, dark brown and silky, but now it had several deep crimson streaks through it. It made her look dangerous and mature. Ever since she had been working with Angel, she had a curious look in her eyes. It screamed of experience and a new kind of grim determination that wasn't previously there. She had only changed for the better up in L.A. Doyle had gotten a 'vision' and she'd come down with her new family to help out with our resident gang.

Now, she was trapped in the middle of the room. Fire surrounded her, almost completely. Her screams were nearly drowned out by the roar of the blaze. I could see the fire inches from her hair. 

It began inside me when out of the corner of my eye, I saw Doyle's eyes. I recognized the look in them. Doyle loved her to pieces. I could tell it was genuine by his eyes. He was near tears with the frustration of his injury. He kept mouthing her name. I couldn't let him lose her. He was a good guy. We'd only had one conversation, but I knew he was a good guy.

_"Are you Xander?" Doyle had come __almost out of nowhere, crouching beside me in the shrubs._

_"That's me," I replied. "Are you the Calvary?"_

_"You might say that man." He chuckled. He peered into the house, his eyes turning grim. "There's enough o' these goons on the other side to keep Angel and Buffy busy for awhile. That vision I had was not pretty. I hate using Cordy as bait."_

_"Not as much as she does," I observed. Cordy was inside waiting for us to jump in. Doyle and I were working together on the east side. "That girl will give us more than an earful when we get through with this."_

_ Doyle smiled in spite of the situation. "That's my Cordy."_

_I shot him a surprised look. His WHO?? He was looking at Cordelia like she was everything in the world. I knew that look. I'd had it for so long I could see it a mile away. "You like Cordy don't you?"_

_The Irishman regarded me for a moment and then sighed. "Between you and me, I think I love her. It's bleedin' crazy to even think about her liking me at all, but when have I ever had common sense?"_

_It was my turn to smile. "I've been there buddy. She's got some sort-of unnatural magnetism about her. Sense doesn't help."_

_Doyle laughed. "It's more then her looks though...if you could see the way she is when she's saving someone, or making coffee...or just sitting at her desk...you'd know she's...just..."_

_"Beyond all existing words?" I supplied._

_We shared a laugh then quieted as we saw the signal. The vamps were surrounding Cordy. _

_"Show time, man." He whispered._

His eyes pleaded with me one last time before the weakness was too much for him. Cordelia screamed his name as he crumpled in a heap. She turned towards me, her eyes frightened as a child's. I saw Buffy and Angel scrambling to get up. There wasn't enough time at the pace they were going. I could feel their panic. Whatever it was that was building inside me broke.

Forget the fire.

Forget the pain.

Forget the fear.

I ran and jumped. 

I don't remember feeling the pain as half of my body sliced through the flames. I know the heat was incredible and Cordelia's eyes had never been so big. Even though my clothes had amazingly stayed fire free, I screamed when I landed. It took all my will not to collapse. I grabbed Cordy and lifted her into my arms. I heard her sobbing about the heat and I tried to shield her as best I could. When I turned around something unbelievable had happened. The path I had created in that split second of contact with the flames had stayed open. Something was holding it back. I turned my head and screamed "I love you." to Willow. Then I walked through the fire to the other side.

I remember setting Cordy down and Willow yelling something inaudible over the blaze. I watched Cordy run to Doyle and smiled as she took his hand. There was no way were they not going to be together. I didn't even care that she hadn't thanked me. I knew she would get around to it. I turned and watched as Willow did one of her containment spells. It didn't even take anything out of her anymore. The fire stayed a good distance away from us, eating away at the rest of the house. Buffy and Angel smiled at me and I grinned back. I realized I wasn't scared anymore.

Maybe the fire had finally made me immune.

Then I collapsed, exhaustion overwhelming me.

Someone suddenly grabbed me and loaded me onto a stretcher. I couldn't keep the smile from my face. I still felt the heat around me a long while after I was zoomed through the halls of Sunnydale Memorial. 

I hadn't just saved Cordelia, I'd finally gotten rid of the fear. I could do it. I had saved her, and everyone had seen it. Well, everyone that didn't already believe I could do the hero thing. And Doyle and Cordy were going to get together. I could feel it. She deserved someone as good as he seemed to be. 

I smiled triumphantly at the people who surrounded me in a blurry haze.

The nurses told me later that that smile never left my face.

*fin*


End file.
